When God Made You

Its been a year since Mike traveled fifteen thousand miles to see me, and tried to bring me to his place. He never complain how hard it was for him to just sit down in a long airplane ride. He did it with a big smile, as if he conquered the tallest mountain in the world. Against all odds, we did it.

June 18, 2010 that was Friday, the feast that changed our lives together has started. Everything has been prepared such as the paper works, reception and entourage for a simple but with extra ordinary wedding banquet. People involved were busy and ready for a trip going to a place, we've chosen for that special moment. Jovially, we traveled from south to north of Cebu, Philippines for our day to come. June 19, 2010 was the final day of our waiting.
Thrilled with that very day, I never get enough to make myself believe that finally I married the man I've loved for a decade. I wasn't convinced until Pastor Samuel Geroy, with the authority bestowed on him, pronounced us as husband and wife. We promised to love and care to each other before God, the earth, my family and friends. The ocean was so calm, the breeze was cool and a smiling bright sun done their job perfectly, as if they were told by God to be happy for us. Everyone who was there witnessing our moment were so happy too. No one is crying, but just have a big smile except me. I wonder why I cried, but only one thing I am sure enough was that, I was so happy.
Sometimes, when I look back where everything seems impossible for us to be together again, I can see that certainly God made a way for us. Maybe, there were circumstances that might hurt others, but we could not understand God's plan. He has different plan for everybody. A plan that is beyond from human understanding. Imagining those days that we're uncertain with our future, I had a hard time in over coming those emptiness, while Mike struggling to balance his life. I wonder when God made Mike, was He seen me ahead of time?

On our wedding day, we were both happy, unaware on the biggest trial to come in our lives. Our wedding pictures, even those post wedding pictures showed perfect happiness that are too obvious in our smile. Everything was abruptly happened that even me and Mike was surprised. We could never think how things done as if we never do anything to help it. It was flawless, and a true love in a perfect timing.

Our Life Together

Because we came from different side of the world, and due to political system of the country we came from, it is hard for us to be together right away. He needs to get home to start the procedures to bring me with him. However, distance is not a hindrance for us to be in each other. We were very much together regardless of the fifteen thousand miles apart. The high tech communication channel such as Skype video bridge our opposite world. We've seen each other everyday until his surprise returned to Philippines.

Yeah, he is so sweet that even his visit again, he never told me, but just arrive. We spent our first Christmas together, his birthday, my birthday, Valentines day, and the anniversary of our love in a second time around. Yet, time is without mercy. He needs to leave again because of a problem that he must be home. We both crying because of that. He really wants to bring me home, but it was not our control. I don't know why? I could not find the answer why, he needs to be home to the state, and even to God without me. It was so hard for us to be apart again. But he promised me that after these, he will never leave me anymore.

Now, its our Wedding Anniversary. Should I be happy or just pretending as if nothing happen? I could even not able to mention the word about where he is now. My mind knew the truth but my heart is denying it. It is so difficult to understand with a grieving heart.

My husband is loving me unselfishly. He done everything to make me happy. I saw it. I saw how he made it sure that I know that he loves me so much. His everyday line is like “Have I told you today that I love you?” He never miss a day not to mention that line. And I know he doesn't want to leave me, but God is in control of everything. He knew the best for us. When Mike loves me unconditionally, why I am too selfish to let him be perfectly happy with God. Why I am selfish?

I wonder when God made Mike, was He seen about me? Does Jesus cares for me? God my heart is breaking. Can you please fix it? When God made Mike, surely he created me for him too.