Never Ask Diamond Nor Gold

Surely you heard the song,”Billionaire” by Mars Bruno. In the Philippines, it is very popular and everyone loves it, even me. The beat is good though there are words which inappropriate to listen, especially with the kids. It says how being a billionaire can do in human's life. But what I like this rap song is that, it is easy to hum or easy to remember.


Every time I sing the first line that says, “I wanna be a billionaire”, my husband will say, “Too bad you already married on me.” and we just laugh together. I told him many times that I don't want to be rich. It is enough for me that we will be together in many years, with God as the head of our family. We just really want a simple life together. We both knew that.

One day when the tornado hit Arkansas, he asked me about what shall I do, if this kind of disaster hit his house. My response was that, I want you to be alive when that tornado comes to our home. Tornado can take anything we had, anything and everything but not you. Its only materials and we can have it again with God's grace and mercy. The end of the materials is not the end of our lives. He smiled at me, and says how much he loves me, and I told him he is more than anything to me. I added to our conversation about, “All things work together for good (Romans 8:28).” Besides, I used to have a very simple life. Using firewood for cooking, laying down in a hard floor and using kerosene lamp at night. All my concern is him. He never experience the life I had. Its my husband who changed my way of living, though I keep my feet on the ground.

Sometimes, he shared with me his worries about the government shut down in the US. He ask my opinion what to do, and I told him that I will cry in front of the VA to keep his medicine, and I will work hard for us. If we can have Mayah Wren, that's the name that we are preparing for a daughter if we can have, Mayah Wren Sullivan (MWS). We agreed that he's the one to watch her, while I am at work. And I will just ready anything she and him needed. Marcus William Sullivan (MWS) our other son can also help him to watch the baby. That was so funny, we already talked about any possibility, but never about his going home with God.

Mike Wayne Sullivan (MWS), a man with honor, and with humble spirit. He always ask me what I want, but I always answer him nothing, but him to be by my side. I never asked him diamond nor gold, but knowing my husband, he is always providing any thing he thought I needed. He always surprise me, by buying something, I never ask. He even asked my friends to check what I needed, because I never told him what it is. He only want the best for me, no matter how hard maybe for him to do. There is no other man like him anymore.

If God give me a chance to choose between richness, or citizenship or my husband. God knew that I will choose my husband. That's why there is no option given because His plan is to finally bring my husband home, and make him happy forever. Yeah, we are happy together but problems are still there bothering us.

I never ask diamond nor gold, but my husband gave that to me, before I know I have it already. He is a good provider. He always see to it that his loved ones has everything to eat, to use and all. He never been selfish, because he always thought the best for everyone he loves.

My Love, I could never found an exact word to say who you are, and what I am to you. But as always, You are
the man that I will treasure in my heart forever. You're the best father, husband and a friend.

How Love Finds Our Way

(Love is stronger than death (Song of Solomon 8:6-7, I Corinthians 13- Love never fails)


Have you heard about a love story of Romeo and Juliet? We have our own version, only that we end up with joy. Romeo and Juliet is a tragic story. They both died because of their “Love”. But with our love, God is working in behalf of us, since circumstances are beyond our control.

When you are patient enough to wait the fulfillment of God’s plan in your life, you will definitely receive a rewarding surprise, according to your desire. It maybe sometimes take a long time before it happen but when it is given, everything turns out amazing. You can’t just realize it, until you are overwhelm with happiness.

I met my husband, Mike sometimes of September 2000 through a dating service. At first it was just a try or experimental. It never comes into my mind that it would become real or romantic. We exchanged emails, chat and phone calls every morning in my office. I was fallen in-love with a romantic guy, who is from the other side of the world. The scenario goes like that way. And I was floating in clouds with rainbow.

But one day, when everyone tries to against our happiness, my world was falling apart. Few of my friends that I considered friend are maybe getting jealous with the love we had, and that they made false story about me. And probably it affects our romance. That’s what I believed at first, but when Mike explains his part, the story is different all together. However, it was too late because he was married with other woman. I guess, I don’t need to mention her name in respect to her. 

My world was shattered in that time he married. I was so hurt, but then I understand. There is no hatred or anger that I could find in my heart, except understanding for him. His wife sent pictures to me of their wedding, and even family pictures during those 10 years that they lived together. And I was sincerely happy for them. The pictures seemed to be telling me that they perfectly happy together. But that’s her side of the story.

However, when I chatted Mike sometimes of 2006, he told me about his life with his wife. I was hurt again because that is not what I wish to happen to him and Marcus, his son. What I ever wanted for them is to live with peace, contentment and happiness. Yet, that is life. You can’t ask everything. Anyway, I kept on praying for them, that the family will be getting well. I advise Mike to accept his wife as she is. Never did I pray that they would fall apart. But like I said before, when God has plan for you, He will definitely make it. Glad it is not too late for us.

As time went by, and I was just open for Mike, for whatever things he wanted to share with me. Giving him advise, greeting when there is occasion and all through out 10 years we never stop communicating each other. But it doesn’t mean that we play or make things that against God. We were just friends all over 10 years. His wife knew that because sometimes we also chatted. We were also friends anyway, until the beginning of January or February 2010.

Anyway, to make the story short. I accepted Mike again around March, and by April we decided to get married right after he got his divorce. I think there is no way anymore that his marriage will be saved. Some people knew why. And for sure, they could understand us.

Anyhow, we are now happy with our married life. Though we temporarily apart because of the laws and all, but someday soon, we could be together again. God united us. Made our dreams come true and just fulfilled our hearts desires. He knew what I’ve prayed, and God also knew what Mike prayed for too. We never have regreted whatever happened into our lives. Instead, it made our love stronger, and made our hearts more accepting and understanding to each other. We are both happy and we hope, people whom we both love can understand us also, accept us without hesitation and will just be happy for us.

Okay, guys thanks for reading. Wait for the other parts of our love life. God bless you all.

My Walk With Christ – My Testimony And Reflection

Have I sinned? Yes, I did a lot but am so thankful that God did not see sin on me. What He had seen in me is Christ, who is setting on the very corner of my heart. I am weak because I am human but with the assuring love of Christ in me, I able to stand from my fall. I could not say that I always won temptation; I rather say that Christ had won my fight and struggle in life.

There are many or even a fellow Christian had been judging me through all my failures in life like unsuccessful life project or unfulfilling dreams. They said, “Oh! You are lack of prayer, Oh! You are not faithful to God, and etcetera.” They never know that it hurts my feelings that it hurts my spirit. Anyhow, I only tell God that, “Lord, they don’t know what they’re saying, sorry.”

As human being, sometimes I have concluded that people are judging other through achievements in life. If all your prayers are answered they will say, “Really you are faithful, or oh! Surely God hears your prayer because you are faithful.” That’s good, not bad at all. However, with that manner, what if trials come to their lives? Are they going to say that God has forsaken them? I am so thankful that I know God different from their learning about Him. I ask God that I hope someday, these people will also say some encouraging words, and not a judgmental phrase.

Like a song that says, “He never said, you’ve only saw sunshine, He never said, they’ll be no rain. But He only promises a heart that full of singing.” Yes, there are many dreams that I have, which had not been fulfilled but I never think that am not faithful or God do not listen on my prayers. God says, “For I know the plans I have for you. “ declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. That was my stronghold to God, His plan for me. My plan is not His plan; therefore I should be waiting because He said. Matthew 24:35 – Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. What a promise. Well, as human being you will cry on your failures. That’s alright. It hurts when you fail, you know. But what matters most is you attitude towards such failures. Learn to accept.

“I cried because I have no new shoes, until I saw a man who has no right foot.” Tears? Is it bad when you let your tears run on your cheeks? Definitely, no! Because even Christ cried. John 11:35 What would you do when you don’t get your wants? Are you going to complain or murmuring, or if not even come into blaming God? Why God, oh Why God?

Base on my personal experiences, feeling distress over your unsuccessful dreams in life is natural. If you have question like why that comes to your mind can be expected, it’s because you are normal. For me it is not bad. However, before you reach into blaming God try also to look around you. What life is trying to show you? What are they things in your surrounding, the people’s life, their sorrows, and compare yourself to them. Are they not suffering floods like what happened in Manila or even to the other side of the world? Have you seen people who are begging on the street, sleeping along the street, with no family, and no homes to shield them from rain or sunlight? Count your blessings, instead. You are not begging, you have comfortable sleep in your house, you are healthy, you have work and anything God provides your need. Most of all you have families; your family in flesh and family of God. How lucky I am. It‘s okay to cry when you feel like crying, but never ever blame God. God is too right to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind, when you don’t understand, when you don’t see his plan, when you can’t trace His hand, Trust His heart. (Bible)

Walking with God is not always like in the bed of roses. And yet, the comforting truth about Jesus is that you have a singing heart. You have hopes and strength to fight a good fight in life. When my dreams are shattered, it made me cry. Yes, really but am so thankful to the Lord Jesus because He still make my mouth sings praises for Him. I feel sorry because I am human but I only trust His Heart, for I knew He is always faithful, despite of my unworthiness. If I ask why, I only tell myself, “Father knows best.” It is already proven through the testimonies of other Christians, Job, Mary Magdalene, through the thief on the right side of Christ, King David and many more saints.

All I can say is, “Jesus is still working on me." He always worries about me and He loves me.

I Timothy 6:12 - Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called