The She Shed Show (amateur)

Salisbury Steak with Mushroom Gravy

Zumba Memories party

Tour to Our Backyard garder

Rum Cake Baking Demo

Las Vegas Vacay Experience

Let's talk about Shoes Collection

Bisayang Gulay Cooking

Boxes and OFW

Butterfly Kisses

While everyone is trying to learn what a butterfly kisses really meant, yet in my personal opinion this phrase describes about an overwhelming feelings of love and happiness. For me this term states that something wonderfully happened in the life of a person. For the others it could have a literal meaning, which is by putting an eyelashes to a person's cheek and flutter it. It is also a song title written by Bob Carlisle that he dedicated to her daughter.

However, one or the other, this words butterfly kisses is a hyperbole that I usually used when my husband and I feel happy for a certain thing, especially after we knew that we could have our butterfly, Mayah Wren. There is no exact word to describe how happy we were, but just saying, “what a butterfly kisses.”

This certain figure of speech is such an exaggeration of our feelings in our life together. Since the day that we backed together there was always a fluttering feelings inside us that running up and down in our being. There such a wonderful feelings when we are together, and that it seems there is no more problem to come. Butterfly kisses is the same when someone said, “I am in the cloud nine.”

During those days that we were side by side; laughing and smiling are always in the atmosphere in our own small world. Every word or action that we done was already a big thing for us to be happy. Imitating the TV ads for me, or acting like someone else while me too riding to his game in our private place. I am amazed on him acted like one in the rexona body spray ads. He sprayed his body, and looked up to heaven waiting for an angel falling down. And that was me fell on bed acted like a fairy or angel who had been mesmerized to the rexona scent. What a butterfly kisses.

By the time that we knew I conceived Mayah Wren, we don't able to stop ourselves to cry, not because we are sad. But it was because we are overly happy with the gift we got from our good Lord. Mike was more than excited, and that he bought Mayah an earring with her birthstone. We talked about her on how she would be looked like. Mike wants her to have a resemblance on me, but me wants her to be me and him. A mixed of Mike and Nila.

Lots of instances that we always feel the butterfly kisses in our heart. Every second of our lives that passed by, seems to us a year already of important memories that we can treasure. We never give a chance any bad mood to ruin our joy. Our love for each other was always giving us an atmosphere with different kinds of butterflies in the air.

How Joy Counterparts Pain

I never thought any pain after the happiness that my husband and I felt every moment of our lives. But we lost Mayah Wren after two months. That was horrible for me. I felt hopeless for another Mayah to come in our lives, not knowing why I feel that way. Yet, here's my husband, a cheerful person tried to make me smile and said, “Let's keep practicing. We can still have more fun.” Mike is the joy of my heart. My inspiration, cheerer, an angel and a bestfriend whom God gave to me. And I said, “Well, yeah in His will.”

Holding on to the hopes that my husband gave me, I was always excited for every thing to come in our lives. Yet, if how much the joy I felt like in a pedestal is the same amount of pain I got, when another pain struck to our lives. My best friend went home with God. There is no more butterfly kisses to feel without them in my life. My butterfly kisses are gone.

Now, I understand why I was so sad when I lost Mayah Wren. However, God knows the best. Whatever His reason why He took Mayah first before her father, I don't want to question anything. For sure, its all for my sake. With the situation I got right now, or maybe next time. I can never tell.

There are lots of beautiful memories that Mike and I had together. They are the butterfly kisses that I will treasure in my heart forever. I maybe physically alone, but in my heart they are just right there looking at me. Picturing beyond the horizon, I can see Mayah and her father playing together in heaven. They are walking hand in hand just waiting for me in the place, which Jesus prepares for His Children. And that gives me a butterfly kisses.

Our First Time Ever, Forever In My Heart

June 16, 2010 (June 16) it was an exciting day for us. When that day was still coming, we both excited and counting the days or nights, hour, minute and second. We felt like days pass very slow, but alas! We had that day. At the airport of Cebu Mactan International Airport midnight. That was our first meeting ever after ten years.

I remember, I was so nervous because most of the passengers are already gone, and him not coming out yet. I was so scared because in my mind, he was running away again from me.(smile). So, I called Patricia if really her Dad was on that plane. And she said, yeah just wait. So, embarrassing. But it takes almost an hour before he came out. And so I told God, “Oh, good Lord not again please. I might not handle the situation anymore if he do it again.” I was so paranoid. But here at last he came out. Wearing with his cowboy hat, boots, black long sleeve. I was so excited that made me cry when I look at him. We’ve kiss but just a smack kiss, and he pressed my left shoulder. And just that and it made me surprise with his reaction. I thought he changed his mind because it seems, he was doubt or hesitant. We ride a taxi went to GV tower hotel, not talking, very silent but with hands clasped together. In my mind, I was almost crying because I was really thought, he changed his mind. When we got to the hotel, he got his medicine bag, and took it without saying anything. And it really made me almost burst into crying. But after his medicine he asked me, “Now, have you changed your mind?” I was surprise with his question because, it is the question that I wanted to ask him even when we were still in the taxi. And I said, oh no, I never never change my mind, Mike. That was my abrupt answer to him.

We were so happy that it never came to our mind about the possible things that might happen to him or me. Him is always careful of me not to be hurt. When riding a car or come cross the street, he always hold me not to be hurt or whatever, especially that honestly am so scared to cross a street. Don’t know how even I know the traffic light signal. And I was or am so careful on him also. We are careful to each other.

I dream last night, and in my dream I called his phone. But there was a cross line, a guy answer on the other line. I was so mad and ask him to put down the other line. But that guy was keep on talking so I decided to put my phone down and called Mike again. Yet, Mike was not there anymore. I just had his answering machine telling me, “Hi, this is Mike Sullivan, I can’t answer the phone right now, but if you leave you name and phone number, I will call you back.” I leave a message for him how much I love and miss him so much. And the rest was crying. I told him that because of the cross line, I missed him on the phone. And telling him sorry a lot, and blaming the cross line.

I don’t know was that dream means. But maybe he heard and saw me crying but because of the separation of the other dimension and the place where I am, we could never talk again. My heart asking for impossible things, and my eyes not ever dried to beg. But one thing that comforted me. At least he is happy now with God.

Our happiest moment together will always be treasured in my heart forever. He’s a good man, a good husband, brother, son and a father. Happy Father’s Day Love. I love you.